There is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven’t had, from which I had been locked out, and it never goes away.
It must be hard when you are a beautiful woman and no one will look at your soul..
Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. It’s like the tide going out, revealing whatever’s been thrown away and sunk: broken bottles, old gloves, rusting pop cans, nibbled fishbodies, bones. This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes, not knowing the future. The ruin you’ve made.
There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don’t work.
You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.
And it hurts so much to want something you can’t have.
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